Tuesday, June 8, 2010
A very Descript Man
I am such a dolent man,
I eptly work each day;
My acts are all becilic,
I've just ane things to say.
My nerves are strung, my hair is kempt,
I'm gusting and I'm span:
I look with dain on everyone
And am a pudent man.
I travel cognito and make
A delible impression:
I overcome a slight chalance,
With gruntled self-possession.
My dignation would be great
If I should digent be:
I trust my vagance will bring
An astrous life for me.
J H Parker
Monday, June 7, 2010
This won't be a formal post, just a few pics I had taken quite a long time back while on a trip to the Duars. I found them to be strangely in sync with my recent state-of-mind, so just thought of putting them up here.
"Strawberry Fields forever......"
Though they may not seem as impressive as the Beatles made them sound , these indeed are strawberry fields....
Drenched in vanilla twilight....
And last but not the least, this series of four continuous snaps is my favourite....
either it was a "one-in-a-million" chance, or just my imagination running wild, but then again, who cares....
That's all for now..
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Well, it was just around the summer break last year that I had first tried my hand at blogging, inspired no doubt, from the complete lack of any other interesting or engaging activity. I remember that I had assumed that as it had only been a year in college, that is why I did not have any stuff to do at home. I had also assumed that from the next year onwards, I would be somewhat engaged in something or the other, maybe a project or a training, or for that matter, even a vacation trip somewhere. Well, second year's gone, but things have not much improved, atleast for me, because I still am sitting at my home, bored to death, without anything to do. My daily routine consists of sleeping, movies, books and internet. Too much monotonous, even for my liking. I need a break. Well, could have got one too, with so many trainings and VTs and projects that everyone's invovled in, it's really difficult not to have landed up with something. But, again, I had underestimated my own penchant for procastination. I had started diging up stuff on summer trainings and project opportunities long back in December last year, and had collected quite a few stuff on trainings and fellowships offered to engineering students. But the folder named "Summer trainings and projects" still shows a last modified/accessed date of 24th January,2010. That's the time around which I started losing my enthusiasm and interest in all that, and by the time the applications came out and the deadlines arrived, my enthusiasm had gone down to such "abyss"-mic levels that I did not bother to apply for most of them, and when I finally did, it was either after the deadlines, or after all the seats were occupied, or the concerned authorities were no longer interested in entertaining any such applications. So, apparently, I have convicted myself, to another summer of nothing but utter boredom, tempered by occasional relief provided by the internet, and the 160 GB hard disk which I have crammed with as many movies and books and music as I could get my hands on. So, probably, I'll be posting a few stuff here and there on my blog now, now that I have nothing better to do. Having nothin better to do, I've finally decided on a month-long trip to Delhi- Chandigarh. I certainly hope that if nothing else, it will help me with a few posts on this almost-defunct blog.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Ah…..this is just the situation which I’d hate to be in….and still I was aware that some day or the other, it was imminent. The guilt that is usually associated with neglecting something, a feeling that you did something just for the sake of doing it, without thinking everything through, without calculating the pros and more importantly, the cons……and worse, feeling that you did something only because of the “spur-of-the-moment” influenced by the fact that someone else had done it, and not really because you felt like doing it……
So, burdened with a terrible sense of guilt at this shameful action, or inaction, rather……. I finally decided that it was time that I rectified myself. Armed with such an intention, I have sat down at my desk to remedy this situation, to prove to myself that what I had done in a moment of unplanned idleness on a fine night a couple of months ago, is not something that will trouble my conscience forever……..
Well, so am I……. at the silly thoughts that crossed my minds when I sat down to “write” something for my blog for the first time… I had imagined that I possessed enough intellect to twist and mould even the mundane events taking place around me into something “write-worthy” and had even labored under that mistaken conclusion for quite a few weeks… but now, the realization, that my misplaced trust in myself was more than just a case of disillusion, is slowly dawning upon me…. With no such spicy/spiritual stuff to put up in my writings, coupled with the fact that I had promised myself never to turn the blog into something of a “day-by-day narrative of my life” kind of thing, has prevented me from posting anything for the last few weeks…..
My attitude towards writing, in general has also not been above reproach…that is because I feel that I could have at least tried to compose something, maybe scour around a bit for some stuff to write about, but then again, I solely blame my overtly-lazy, procrastinating nature which has kept me from doing all that…. And it never helped that my mind is not exactly the most fertile place where creative imagination is concerned….. perhaps that is why, when forced to confront my demons, I had to come up with this pitiful composition just to keep the place alive….
So that the few who added me to the list of the blogs they “follow”, once again get to see the name “Letters from my conscience” in the list of recent posts……(if they have not already cancelled their subscription, labeling it as a hopeless case, that is….)
I sincerely hope that this act of penitence will nullify my lack of dedication towards this endeavor......
Looks like I’ll have to compromise on my promise to myself about the “day-by-day account” promise a bit… though….
I do hope that I find something worthwhile, at least more than the crap I posted here now, to put up here next time.
Until I find something better……
Saturday, July 25, 2009
The onset of the second year (pre pre final year!!!, a sub conscious voice within me involuntarily corrects me…) brought with it a rather unique experience for me --- that of room-hunting…
This market does possess quite a few similarities with the bigger economic systems that we have had the chance of being acquainted with during our lessons in economics, like presence of differential sectors, different groups , bottom feeders, etc…. here are just a few instances--
1. There are different groups with different kinds of hold over the market--- some zones , by virtue of their superior strength in numbers, consequentially possess more bargaining power, while some others, due to presence of greater influence over the participants in the market, have greater trading opportunities….there are always some who do exercise their “connection” muscles, benefitting from their acquaintance with the previous possessors of the concerned property(read: rooms)…. And then, there are the usual bottom feeders, those which do not possess any bargaining power or influence in the market, and are nearly always left to scrap up the left overs…
2. There’s also an overall controlling authority, much like the government in an actual economy, which tries to maintain some amount of equality and justice in the market…in our case, those are the wardens and other college –appointed authorities entrusted with the responsibility of seeing to that the actual allotment sequence gets followed… they are overtly active during the initial stages of the market, however, their interest in the matter wanes within a week, and after that, its oly the free market forces that call the shots…
3.Tthere is always a fair amount of under-the-belt tactics for getting rooms---frequent stages of capturing rooms and exiling the bottom feeders, subsequent intervention by the controlling agency and restoration of the rooms to the rightful owners, then recapturing of the room once more, and so on…. One also gets to see a fair amount of double-crossings, under the table dealings( usually more than the permitted limit of people getting forced into one room) , threats , hard bargaining…..and everything which would put any market management assignment to shame….
This whole matter lasts for about a week or more, but ultimately, things settle down as most get their desired rooms or partners, while the remaining find it useless to protest, and thus have to compromise…. However, this real version of monopoly, sans the luck element, does serve as an interesting as well as an educating experience, I must say :)
Well, gotta go and clean up the mess in my alloted -cum- captured room now.....
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
3. My tryst with CWD…
But as can be expected in the majority of cases, the dedication that the instructors possessed towards the students and their courses was on the wane…there were brief periods of complete inactivity, and though we integrated those inactive periods into our “gossip” time, still, it was really not worth travelling more than twenty kilometers just to hear some juicy stories…
The growing nonchalance of the instructors, their refuge in frequent “just-ask-me-if-you-have-a-problem-with-your-earlier-lessons” cases, quite a few instances of days where the previously mentioned sessions were all that was done in classes made us a bit skeptical about the future prospects of this course…and the instructors seemed contended to let us search for our doubts class after class without really coming up with anything…
And when all these factors were forcing us to rethink our future course of action, came a sudden stimulus in form of a demand from the institute, asking us to pay two installments for the course fee in order to continue with the course….so, already having paid around one and half thousand bucks and feeling convinced that the future classes were going to be no more interesting than what was going on now, I was confronted by a decisive question—what to do next?? The fact that I had always been a bit of a miser did contribute a bit…but mostly it was the other factors I mentioned before which forced me to decide that I ahd to quit this course…so on the very day they had asked to submit the next lot of installments, they got the message that I had decided to give up this venture for good….
So there ended my aspirations to become a web designer…well, not completely, ‘cos I did manage to learn quite a few important stuff during my brief stint as a student, but the fact remains that there indeed remained a lot to be covered….
So much for “Dreamweaving”……….
Friday, July 17, 2009
2. It is common for college students to feel the cash crunch pretty much frequently…and I am no exception to this phenomenon. Some of my friends, who started giving out tuitions to kids in order to supplement their pocket money, inspired me to try out this means of earning some bucks for myself. Thus, I was able to add a second activity to my “have-to-do” list--- I had to get myself some kids to teach , and I would easily gain some bucks every month. I was not too much worried about the money I would be getting---after all, students from NIT, or R.E. College don’t come as cheap tutors, and the people know that…so, that was not the problem.
The real problem was scouting for guinea pigs who would willingly subject themselves to my attempts at teaching, or rather, campaigning for myself as a tuition teacher… I couldn’t find channels through which I could make it public, or atleast attract some attention. I am not the kind of guy who goes out and proclaims that he was ready to give tuitions—nah, that’s too cheap for my liking. So, I patiently waited, hoping earnestly that someone will have a brainwave like –“ Oh!! This boy’s from a good college, and he’s idle at the moment, so why not ask him to teach my daughter (ok, maybe son)....” and approach me with the request. But unfortunately no one noticed that, and I got no such requests… well, actually I got two, but accepting those would amount to travelling about thirty kilometers for three days every week throughout the three months of the vacation in the grueling summer heat; I do like a little bit of extra cash, but not so much that would make me accept such a daunting challenge…so I had to reject these offers for something more convenient (read: near home).
I did not have to wait for too long… the perfect opportunity was offered to me during a chance encounter with a former acquaintance… he literally cajoled me to teach him a few chapters of physics during the vacations as he was gearing up for some entrances at the end of the year… I was a little bit apprehensive—physics had always been my least favourite subject( I abhorred mechanics in all forms, and still do!), and I could never justify myself as an expert in teaching a subject which I myself was more than a bit uncomfortable with…nevertheless, I decided to give it a try… so I accepted the offer, without even mentioning any terms on my part…I mean, after all, he was my friend’s younger brother—obviously I couldn’t just go and ask him, “How much are you gonna pay me?”…it would have been really rude!! And then, surely he himself would broach on the topic when the time came… Thus I found myself trudging along to his place, twice every week, to explain to him the nuances of gravitation and waves and thermodynamics and all those stuff which I myself had not understood when I first studied them… I daresay I did quite a decent job, and we proceeded through waves and thermodynamics and calorimetry smoothly… at the end of one month of my first job, I was literally salivating to lay my hands on my first payment—the first time I would have earned anything by my own work!!!
Unfortunately, pay day never came…I waited for a week, two weeks, three weeks, but there was not even a mention, even indirectly, that there should be a payment for all my exertions and toil…and by the time I had resigned myself to the fact that no one was paying me anything, not atleast now, two months had already passed, and I was getting more and more skeptical about how everything was going to turn out… for a brief period, I entertained the thought that maybe this stint as a teacher was meant to last only during the vacations, so perhaps I would be getting my payment at the end of the vacations, when I formally announce my resignation, and this thought was able to pacify me enough to continue my incentive-less job for a couple of weeks more, but after that, the sceptic in me won over, and I had to devise various excuses and yarns to avoid the classes…so one day I pretended to be out of station, another day I needed time for allotment issues, and on most other days, I had other important matters to take care of…and all the while, fervently wishing that this vacation ends so that I wash my hands off this “tuition”…..
But my student turned out to be a tough customer !!
He keeps on dutifully ringing me up every other day and asking me if I am free . No amount of veiled rebuff is enough to make him understand that I am no more interested in that job any more, not when it does not provide me with any incentive!!! But he persists, and so, on rare occasions, I still have to give in and carry myself to his house and explain all that stuff to him….. The last time I went there,I was determined to get the fact across that after college reopens, I would not be available............. But before I could say anything on the topic, he said, “You do come home for the weekend, don’t you?? We can continue the classes then…atleast one class? Please?”
So much for “resigning”……………