A Confession......

Ah…..this is just the situation which I’d hate to be in….and still I was aware that some day or the other, it was imminent. The guilt that is usually associated with neglecting something, a feeling that you did something just for the sake of doing it, without thinking everything through, without calculating the pros and more importantly, the cons……and worse, feeling that you did something only because of the “spur-of-the-moment” influenced by the fact that someone else had done it, and not really because you felt like doing it……

So, burdened with a terrible sense of guilt at this shameful action, or inaction, rather……. I finally decided that it was time that I rectified myself. Armed with such an intention, I have sat down at my desk to remedy this situation, to prove to myself that what I had done in a moment of unplanned idleness on a fine night a couple of months ago, is not something that will trouble my conscience forever……..

Intrigued????

Well, so am I……. at the silly thoughts that crossed my minds when I sat down to “write” something for my blog for the first time… I had imagined that I possessed enough intellect to twist and mould even the mundane events taking place around me into something “write-worthy” and had even labored under that mistaken conclusion for quite a few weeks… but now, the realization, that my misplaced trust in myself was more than just a case of disillusion, is slowly dawning upon me…. With no such spicy/spiritual stuff to put up in my writings, coupled with the fact that I had promised myself never to turn the blog into something of a “day-by-day narrative of my life” kind of thing, has prevented me from posting anything for the last few weeks…..

My attitude towards writing, in general has also not been above reproach…that is because I feel that I could have at least tried to compose something, maybe scour around a bit for some stuff to write about, but then again, I solely blame my overtly-lazy, procrastinating nature which has kept me from doing all that…. And it never helped that my mind is not exactly the most fertile place where creative imagination is concerned….. perhaps that is why, when forced to confront my demons, I had to come up with this pitiful composition just to keep the place alive….
So that the few who added me to the list of the blogs they “follow”, once again get to see the name “Letters from my conscience” in the list of recent posts……(if they have not already cancelled their subscription, labeling it as a hopeless case, that is….)

I sincerely hope that this act of penitence will nullify my lack of dedication towards this endeavor......
Looks like I’ll have to compromise on my promise to myself about the “day-by-day account” promise a bit… though….

I do hope that I find something worthwhile, at least more than the crap I posted here now, to put up here next time.

Until I find something better……

Signing off…

Rishi…